Pesky heart growing three sizes

by craig January 01, 2010 18:19

Rush Limbaugh was released from the hospital today after being admited with chest pains.

Doctors have advised Mr. Limbaugh to refrain from looking down on all the Whos in Who-ville.

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George Carlin quote

by craig December 28, 2009 14:59

I came across this George Carlin quote across this quote on the internet this evening. Unlike many George Carlin quotes, he appears to have actually said this.

At any rate, I'll just leave it here:

"There's a reason for this, there's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get any better. Don't look for it. Be happy with what you've got... because the owners of this country don’t want that. I'm talking about the real owners now... the real owners. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.

Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls. They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls.

They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. Lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I’ll tell you what they don’t want.

They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin’ years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want?

They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street.

And you know something? They’ll get it. They’ll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place. It’s a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in the big club. By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted, folks.

The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on. Good, honest, hard-working people continue — these are people of modest means — continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about them. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t care about you at all! At all!

At all! And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it."

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Syntax Error

by craig August 07, 2009 13:57
I wish the Democrats would stop refering to the loud and threating astroturfing of town hall meetings as "mob rule". It's not mob rule. Mob implies a large group of people that agree on something. Polls of actual Americans are at odds with the astroturfers. What we're really talking about is "rule of whoever can shout the loudest and craziest".

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Whelp, I'm going to get pulled over...

by craig July 24, 2009 11:58

Gotta love the rightous indignation about President Obama's comment about police "acting stupidly" in the arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. As if, if you're a cop, your shit smells like roses.

Right. It's not like a cop would ever taser their waiter for kicks.

And I love how, and I repeat, Harvard Professor Henry Gates Jr., is now "black scholar" in the media.  He's a fucking professor. At fucking Harvard. You know what? That's all I had every heard of the guy, and even I think he deserves a little more title than "black x" (where x is the minimum description possible).

I've had dealings with the police (as a victim of a crime) and I would catagorize the police actions in my case as "fucking retarded", and I'm white. Guess what, people. Cop's shit stinks too.

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Suck on this, ASU.

by craig May 13, 2009 13:14

So Arizona State Univesity doesn't want to grant President Obama an honorary degree for speaking at their university? You know, at one time, owner of the title "Guy Who Can Nuke Your Ass" used to get you stuff like this. But, I guess since the last office-holder they had to raise the bar a bit. At any rate, don't worry, Mr. President, I got your back. I'll give you an honorary degree, you don't even have to show up.

1. Print this blog entry.

2. Cut between the lines below.

3. ???

4. Profit! 


 

Craig Dodge's Ye Olde Blog and Completely Not Made Up Degree-Granting Thingmajig

 

 hereby and henceforth awards
President Barack Obama
A Doctorate of Some Field I So Did Not Make Up
 
 
Magna Cum Laude, E pluribus unum, Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.

Actually in terms of actual certification, it probably means as much.

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Bankruptcy: you're doing it wrong

by craig April 04, 2009 13:00
It seems President Obama can't do anything right. I'm hearing all this talk about how he's going to take us to the socialist poorhouse. The first wave hit Friday. How much poorer am I now? I am negative 40 bucks poorer each and every month. And by "negative 40 bucks poorer", I mean I'm positive 40 bucks richer, because I'm being taxed less. Mr. President, how can we go poor at this rate? Really, it's like you're not even trying to make us a bankrupt socalist state.

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I did some experimentation tonight...

by craig February 24, 2009 21:51
...and actually listened to President Obama's speech. It's nice having a president whose oratory skills does not make me want to gouge out my ears with a spork for a change.

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Craig Dodge: funner than a barrel full of monkeys, less cleanup afterwards.